Duality of Self

duality? 

The sexy young lady from Wants and Needs, in her latest entry, wrote something that touched on the duality of self. She got it from another blog http://ourshadowself.blogspot.com/2005/07/welcome_05.html Maybe I didn’t get it entirely (based on the response I wrote to her), but I think I have an idea of what she was trying to get at:

1. we all fall into labels, and sex bloggers even more so
2. we are asked to put our sexuality into a box
3. unfortunately, society forces us into labels, especially when it comes to sexuality

The issue of labels, I believe, transcends sex bloggers. If we take the latest example of the bombings in London, we are reminded of the fact that short of having a beard and looking yellow or brown, you might not be considered a suspect. Precisely because we have come to accept that the people behind these heinous crimes move along with people of that physiognomy. Daniel Hoffman-Gill, in one of his latest entries, entitled the entry rather aptly: We got ourselves a new nigger .

The sexual front is a bit different in the sense that first and foremost, it is difficult to ascertain your "curiosity" or your sexuality from looking at you—and that cuts across races. To the extent that even these days, over-pumped young men with perfect bodies are considered this side short of bent, when it was not so long ago that people with huge biceps triggered pavlovian responses among ditzy blonde women.

These days, if you are a guy, you appear to even have to refrain from having a six-pack, or being too clean-shaven for fear that homosexuals might come salivating your way.

Ofcourse I digress with my characteristic whims, but the serious issue is as wants described it: "As long as I am not turned on by children and am safe in my play why is it so important if I feel the desire to masturbate to images of naked men vs. naked women?"

It probably is not all that important, except that we have been mostly brought up to believe that such sexual desires, when openly expressed, make you different from the so-called normal people. Truth is :there is no such thing as a normal person, and I don’t think there ever has been—particularly when it comes to sexuality.

I re-read the so-called Black Angel’s post, and I think something that he wrote touched a nerve:

"I believe though that lurking in all of us is a reflex, that is, somewhere in darkest portions of our being, in deepest part of the human animal, the instinct to explore, celebrate, and worship the darkest corners of our souls- that which we have been bred to forget."

I couldn’t agree more.

For the past few days, I have been thinking about a girl I met at a recently-built ultra-modern shopping complex not too far from where I work. She used to work further in town when I started work a year ago. She is very cute, and I was rather nice to her—not necessarily because of her looks, but she has a very pleasant disposition.

I saw her again a few weeks ago working at this new place—she has moved from her old place to work here—and she is enjoying it. The issue is that I couldn’t help thinking about how I’d love to chat her up and get her phone number. It would be so VERY easy. We saw each other again whilst I was having lunch yesterday. The SAME place. I riposted in a very cheesy manner: "Gloria, we’ve got to stop meeting like this". She smiled. My tumescence grew—-albeit half-baked.

As recently as yesterday, I saw her, dressed in a sexy skirt, looking VERY very personable and cute. I thought of her a lot yesterday. A LOT! During the night, as I prepared to go to sleep, I missed my significant other, G, very much and gave her a quick call to let her know that I was thinking of her. As always, she very much appreciated it—even if she was very sleepy.

But I was STILL thinking about this salesgirl shortly after I started dosing—and I imagined some VERY naughty things. The fantasy was SO good, and I was SO bad-in so many different ways.

But it was wrong.

This is why: I love my girlfriend very much. I even wrote an on-line encomium of sorts to her in April: here .

I had a chat with her this morning about improving the quality of the time we spend together. I love her so very much. Whilst I talked with her, the units on the phone didn’t matter: all that mattered was her listening to me, and me listening to her ever-so-perennially-soft voice. Both of us locked in our own world -- talking.

Yesterday’s egregious behaviour became a distant memory, but it brought home this point about duality of self. I love my girlfriend dearly, yet I was prepared to entertain having sex with this gorgeous salesgirl.


At the same time, I am reminded of the duality of self in that the line is always so very easy to cross once you hook up with someone. Especially when you’re not married, you can find yourself entertaining your dark self that will very much encourage you to be promiscuous.

Nasty.

Does that make me screwed-up, or just male?

Only a UN under Kofi Annan Could Do This

Ghanaian-born Kofi Annan 

Incumbent UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan is no saint, but let's admit it: he has done a lot in the period that he has been at the UN. That the UN is now contemplating expansion from its constellation a la 1945 of 5 permanent members to what could now be an additional ten members (maybe permanent or not)is evidence, in my humble opinion, of a far-reaching reform that was VERY long in coming.

But to the point: The article above (click the title for the link, please) indicates that in an attempt to prevent the growing chasm between Islam and the West, a Spanish-Turkish iniative, entitled "Alliance of Civilizations", is "intended “to respond to the need for a committed effort by the international community – both at the institutional and civil society levels – to bridge divides and overcome prejudice, misconceptions, misperceptions, and polarization which potentially threaten world peace,”

Couldn't have come at a better time when reflections over the bombings in London seems to be gaining ground.

Serendipity

A rather big word--much like my (eccentric) ego meaning:

---

Faculty of making discoveries by accident. Serendipity has been recently used in connection with Internet, since the large quantity of information available provides chances to find unexpected relevant information while surfing the web. In Science one speaks about serendipity when the discovery is made by reasons alien to the established research experiments. For example the discovery of penicillin. The coinage of the term is attributed to the British writer Horace Walpole from a Persian tale "The Three Princes of Serendip" where the heroes make discoveries accidentally.

---

The songwriter SEAL sang "you're never gonna survive unless you get a little crazy"

That's pretty much me in a nutshell.

I like to provoke--not for provocation sake, but just to push that envelope a little bit till it is bursting at its tenuous seams.

It gets results.

But not all the time.

Earlier this week,I screwed up posting a comment I made on the rather delectable and delicious-looking Saurkraut's website on an entry she wrote on Africa funding.

Without waiting for a response, as is wont of my ofttimes impetuosness, I went ahead and re-posted. Ofcourse, we all get angry--but that is never an excuse. Which leads me directly to Dale Carnegie.

Carnegie admonsihes in his classic book (my second bible) to "distrust your first instinctive impression".

Bottom line is I didn't on that day.

Yet, since 1994, when i first acquired this book at a book fair in secondary/high school, I have read and read and re-read this great book. Fair to say that even during my desultory years characteristic of teenagers regarding relationships with the opposite sex, my friendships and relationships with the opposite sex (and beyond) underwent you might say a catharsis.

Eleven years later, I have still got to get myself educated about this important precept. AFter all, isn't education, like bathing and faith, recommended daily?

Through my weakness (my impetuosness), I uncovered Saurkraut--and I am glad for it.

For after all, isn't that one of the biggest beauties of this blogosphere?

Thanks to the romantic Alyssa de Jour for reminiding me to keep short posts!:-)

All Roads Lead to CASABLANCA : Play it Again, (Uncle) Sam

casablanca 

A news report from China Daily maintains:

"A Moroccan preacher imprisoned in Morocco for inspiring deadly bombings in Casablanca and implicated in the Madrid train bombings last year also had significant contact in Hamburg with leaders of the Sept. 11 attacks, say members of a Muslim congregation in Germany"

usual-sus 
or better still, as per the line at the end of "Casablanca",

Round up the Usual Suspects!

:


usual-sus2 

Just got a bit whimsical after reading Col. Dr. T. deGro, PhD, MSnBC, FHIA of Ontario, California's post on who could really be behind the London bombings.

Hope if you're from London, you try to get the best out of a cruel and horrible beginning-of-weekend. For non-Londoners, a stress-free and relaxing weekend to you the best possible way you can manage.

Toodle pip.

"An Act of Folly Without Justification?......It Pours Petrol on a Growing Fire"

I cannot help but wonder whether Tony Blair was (finally) punished, albeit cruelly, for his association with Bush over Iraq.

Was he complacent?

In its editorial of November 4 1956, the Guardian newspaper, in response to the United Kingdom's pusillanimous behaviour by then-premier Anthony Eden over the Suez Crisis wrote:

"It is no longer possible to bomb countries because you fear that your trading interests may be harmed... Nations are said to have the governments they deserve. Let us show that we deserve better."

I sincerely hope that this prescient quote will be heeded by the big-wigs in London and beyond.

This is a time of reflection--not reaction.

May those who have lost families console themselves in the knowledge that they shall all, one day, meet their loved ones in a far better place than this often-times cruel world.

Read Anchored Nomad's latest entry on how close her friend came to death.

Virgin Slut has also paused for thought,...

as has

Daniel

Reviving R Kelly -- You're the Greatest!

I listen to the private radio station here in Accra called CITI-FM, and they have this penchant--as most radio stations do--for playing one particular artist's song.

In CITI-Fm's case, the artist extraordinaire is R Kelly. And it's not difficult to see why.

I've had some disappointment today that involves me and my partner. So there I was, as per usual, listening to the radio, when R Kelly's song "The World's Greatest" comes on.

My attention was caught the greatest at the refrain:

"I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up high
Hey, I made it
I'm the worlds greatest
And I'm that little bit of hope
When my backs against the ropes
I can feel it mmm
I'm the worlds greatest"

I'm a great believer in my Maker--and for me, the only one there is is Him. I'll tell you why.

Everyone has had their share of bad luck.

The ultimate for me, apart from losing my beloved dear one-and-only brother Samuel D Bensah (6.9.1973) to a 14 month coma on 8 May, 1991 {he was 3.5yrs older than me}
was on 9 September, 2003 when this red pick-up car:


red pick-up 
crashed into our green Nissan car that my Mum was driving, with a speed of about 100km/h, resulting in this:


all-smashed up 

The side of the car ended up looking like this:


a view from the side 

Miraculously, I ended up with a SWOLLEN right finger, which had to be treated with ice for a couple of weeks. Both my Mum and I were wearing seatbelts, and the airbag helped considerably.

Others have not been so lucky.

I knew I was dead on that fateful day back in 2003.

My own September 11th on a 9 September.

So if I believe that there was Someone or Something Out There protecting me, it's not necessarily because I have been an inveterate fan of the X-Files for most of my sane life, but because I truly DO believe.

I do not blame people who have a problem with religion: the restrictive nature of rules associated with it can be seriously off-putting, not to mention the scandals that have rocked religions like Catholicism, etc that end up putting the religion in a dubious light.

All that said, knowing of R Kelly being involved with prison and whatnot for stupid things he may or may not have done does not stop me from enjoying his music.

I caught another song of his this Sunday entitled "You Saved Me" (gave me a second chance):


I was riding in my car one day
in the express lane rollin on the freeway
and suddenly the phone rings then I
reached down beside me then i look
on the floor felt on the backseat
see I was drinking while I was driving
never thinking bout what I was doing
I turned around and before i knew it
here comes this truck now

Doctor said don't think he gonna make it
family said make the funeral arrangements
unplugg the machine he's gone now
then told my wife to be strong now
then a small voice said until me
if you promise to stop drinking
I surrenered on that day
now for ten year's i've been straight

You saved me 4x
Gave me a second chance
You saved me 3x
You saved me


In 1995, ten years ago this august, I failed to get into the Institute of Translation and Interpretation in Brussels (ISTI), seriously scuppering my dreams of working for an international organisation (like the UN) as a top-notch translator, like my Dad.

My Dad was immensely disappointed--as was my Mum who was devastated.

Ten years later, here I am--with a stable job and an increased belief in my Maker, and an even stronger belief that the United Nations is THE only way.

And not because the ever-sexy Nicole Kidman acted the role of an interpreter in the 2005 political thriller ;-)

After my A-levels, which could have been far better than they were--bar one subject--I spent one year at home preparing myself for a second chance to go to college.

In my heart of hearts, i think God did save me. Like he did on 9/9/2003.

He truly gave me a second chance.

Whatever you believe in, don't ever stop hoping or believing

And don't ever stop standing up for something--otherwise, like the proverbial saying, you'll fall for anything

God truly is The greatest.