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secret Posted by Hello

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Sorry about the more-than-prolonged absence;-)

I am alive! Just getting my nose down at work as I was away for a while. Plenty to catch up on...but entries, God willing, will be forthcoming as of next week.
 
Thanks for your patience!
 
latest news? well:
 
1. called my ex (Grace) two days ago. She's the one I broke up with in September 2005. A guy answers..by the name of Johnnie. He says he is using her phone 'cos his is broken. She was at home on a US holiday (she works for a US-based company). Johnnie claims they have been seeing each other for a year! -- note a year ago, I was dating her, so I was being done over??? -- and that they are about to get married. I call her best friend, who is equally very surprised by this news. SHe finds out in the evening, and informs me accordingly, that Johnnie is the boyfriend, but there is no marriage on teh cards...
 
Ok, we all move on, but the cheek Grace gave me when I called her, saying that she doesn't think that I need to know about her new relationship.
 
Yet, here is someone whom I have talked to a couple of times over the past few months, and who responds very warmly accordingly. I felt we were friends. we were lovers for a good six months! I even wished her a happy mother's day on 14 May--to which she did not reply. I called her on her daughter's 4th birthday, which she sounded to have appreciated.
 
So, she sends me this txt message yesterday evening: 'pls 4gods sake, Stop calling my fone. U are destroying my new relationship. Why?'
 
my response at 23.47: "When I txtd u on mothers day, u didn't have the decency 2 say 'thx', yet i said nothing. why would i bother u now? johnnie sounds like a good guy. i hope u take good care of him. he needs plenty of luck. i have been in a relationship w a gorgeous lady calld sandra since january-u never askd cos u r not really my friend. i askd u abt ur boyf n u gave me cheek! good luck, grace. secrecy seems 2 b ur 2nd nature. n u do it v well!"
 
I would really like to know whether it was harsh enough!;-)
 
on another note, I attended the funeral of Nana Amma, below, whom I commented on before I left. It turns out that along with the brain tumour, she was expecting her first child with her husband:-( So so sad.
 
I was deeply distressed .
 
I also found out from my written journal (which I have been maintaining since 1988) that I had a HUGE crush on her.
 
I realise now without any vestige of melodrama that I sincerely loved this married woman.
 
I miss her so much I don't even want to erase her lengthy hotmail messenger discussions with me. Her yahoo ones, regrettably, are lost:-(
 
My mental pabulum is this: can a man have pure love for a married woman that is not carnal?
 
Like Daniel (Hoffman-Gill) says, "see you on the other side":-)

4 Comments:

At Friday, June 02, 2006 7:59:00 am , Blogger sissoula said...

Hey there Mr. Bensah, glad you're back! Well, to start with last things first, I think you'll have to answer your own question there. I don't think a wedding band constitutes any real barrier to feelings -- either the feelings one may have towards the person wearing it or, guess what, feelings that may arise inside the person wearing it.

As for the more concrete and difficult matter of your (cheeky on both sides, if you ask me) interaction with your ex, I can only say -- for someone who has such a soft spot for anybody and everybody who is close to you, you are really tough on women!

 
At Friday, June 02, 2006 10:47:00 am , Blogger obifromsouthlondon said...

u were harsh enuff. you know how the truth hurts to listen to. Gracie girl will do some soul searching off that.

true feelings have no barriers.

RIP Nana.

 
At Saturday, June 03, 2006 7:12:00 pm , Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

It's nice to have you back!

 
At Monday, June 05, 2006 2:00:00 pm , Blogger Emmanuel.K.Bensah II said...

sissoula--ole! ole! Thanks so much for the welcoming message:-) B down there very soon...

I appreciate you calling me "cheeky", too. Quite like that;-) I wanted to really prick my ex's conscience. She is a toughie, but there are things I say that I know will give her food for thought--and I am sure this txt msg sure was one of them!! Hurrah!!!:-))

As for feelings, well, you're right. I can tell you that last December, my friend was texting me almost every hour over the holidays...naturally making her husband jealous. She loved him--that I know--but her concern for me everyday was something I have never experienced before...actually, only my girlfriend gives me that sort of attention nana amma gave me...wanting to know whether I was ok, I wasn't ill, how my day was going, etc...

incredible...

as for being hard on women, well, only on women who piss me off royally;-))

obi--I certainly hope you are right abt the osul-searching!!!! Thanks for your message of condolence...

Daniel--thanks--good to be back!!!

 

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