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Monday, April 24, 2006

My Best Friend, Juliet (After ObifromSouthLondon)


ObifromSouthLondon made an interesting entry this month, which happily coincided with the post I was going to write about...

Hold on: all will be explained.

Juliet is the "best friend" I have talked about many times in the history of this blog. She turned 29 a few weeks ago (the picture is from the outing we had together the evening after her birthday), and I turn 29 in TWO days time--that's the 26th April.

Juliet is a trained journalist, publisher, and a very very hard-working person who is prepared to earn very little just for experience. She started off as a bit of a high-flyer, earning a very good salary at an early age, but she gave it all up to go into her own business. This, coupled with the fact that she was loathe to continue working at a place where she was given a great title and perks, but where they (foreign company) were basically ripping the country off by exporting gold out of the country.

I first met Juliet at one of those many fast-food chains here in Ghana. SHe was the one who actually introduced herself to me, asking whether I knew x, y, or Z, because I looked very much like someone she knew. I thought "wow, what a role-reversal!". It wasn't a come-on, though I sometimes wish it was.

Let's talk about the sometimes...

Sometimes, I fantasize about J being my girlfriend. We connect intellectually (when I broke out to her that I had started writing a book, she just smiled, cos she had the day earlier just been writing an outline for her book that she's writing!) and sometimes in other ways. For example, during the Easter break, we hadn't heard from each other for a while, so en route outside the capital, I sent her a txt message. She immediately called back...It later emerged that she was just about to send a text message/call that minute I did so...

maybe, that's just coincidence, but there have been a number of things that unite us. Ofcourse there are our differences: I can go on sometimes about an issue, and she will tell me, frankly, that she doesn't have time for that type of conversation at the moment, or will simply tell me she's bored by how I'm going on. I always appreciate that candour--even if I do get a bit irked, but that's how she is: candid.

But, she's also beautiful, in my view--both spiritually, physically and intellectually. Some days, I spend minutes thinking about her intensely--but never call. I always let my emotions pass away before I do anything stupid.

When I say she's beautiful, I mean she's really attractive. She has such a feminine voice--and that British accent! She exudes confidence and sexiness, and my God, she's sexy! She can turn me on any number of times during a long conversation...I will just smile. She has to work on her laugh, though...;-)

So, that, in a nutshell, is a bit about my best friend who knows the latest history of what I have been doing, whom I have been seeing, etc. My latest session of, erm, hanky-panky;-). I love my girlfriend, but I fancy my best friend...very very much.
I have thought about crossing the line, but I know I am not her type (she has told me many times before) and we are comfortable with that.

But something she said last year has tremendous resonance with Obi's post. She told me this: "there is never a truly platonic relationship between a guy and girl". She maintained:
(a)either one--guy/girl--wants to sleep with one another, but knows:
  • either is already attached

  • either is thinking of doing it in long-run

  • only ONE of them wants to sleep with the other


  • (b) they have already slept with each other, which has strengthened their friendship.

    To tell you the truth, I'm all for the latter!!;-))

    But, seriously, there are some truths there that are quite interesting, and I have wondered why J brought it up last year...

    Anyway, this is Obi's post:



    can you seriously be lovers and friends in a non-relationship context? when does a friend become a f**k buddy? sometimes one is attracted to another. pure animal attraction but friendship is the safest option. perhaps some commitment somewhere else, wrong timing on one's part, cultural/religious differences hindering any real engagement, plain just ain't happening. lovers and friends is a fine line. You hang out, coffee, parties, dinner, soul to soul chats, looking out for each other. crossing it is never factored in and not forseen (or simply blocked out). and then bam!!! you can't get enough of each others internal space. but the inevitable fallout. you start dealing with ish that you'ld never have encountered as just friends, jealousy, the new boyfriend or girlfriend, no being around in time of need or cant be around. I've heard the arguments and it can be deemed conveninent by some meeting up for the odd drink, the odd sex, no strings. You get on with your separate lives.



    from: http://obifromsouthlondon.blogspot.com/2006/04/lovers-and-friends.html#comments

    J told me that night that picture was taken that she's met someone, and she reminded me of a list (outlining each and every one almost) of what she's looking for in a man. She went all garrulous on me, explaining with much enthusiasm why she had that list.

    There was only a vestige of jealousy within me, which I ignored. I want her to be happy--very much, and she deserves a good guy, but woe betide him if he messes with my best friend!!

    Crazy, indeed, I am about J.

    men!!

    In so many ways, writing this is very cathartic...thanks for reading!!

    2 Comments:

    At Sunday, April 30, 2006 11:00:00 pm , Blogger obifromsouthlondon said...

    heh i like this post. flattered somewhat. I also happen to have a friend like your Juliet. we men eh? but such friendships are sacred and we preserve it. knowing it could change at a flick of a switch.

     
    At Tuesday, May 02, 2006 11:05:00 am , Blogger Emmanuel.K.Bensah II said...

    obi, it's sad, though, innit? drooling after/over your best friend like that...;-) It's important to preserve it, you're right. I am glad though that Juliet often "jokes" that I fancy her...if only she knew that I was telling the truth! Maybe she does...women can be as crafty as we guys;-))

     

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