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Monday, August 22, 2005

Confronting the Death of a Blogger

I recently came across a very interesting blog written by a young lady, Amanda Marais, from Limburg, Belgium. She had written a post about fellatio and some sort of topic, which excited my interest. I wrote to her about that post, but she didn't reply.

Today, after almost a week away from the office and the computer, I check her website to update myself of the following only to find out that her blog has been deleted.

Computers are hardly predictable, so I hit "refresh" again, hoping that maybe when I come back later, it'll be fine.

But it won't. And it wasn't going to be.

Based on the links on her page, and a comment, I have discovered that this blogger, whom I hardly knew anything about--except by way of her entries--had been killed in a car accident.

I was, what, away for just one week! Like a flash, elle a volatilise! Cruel. Cruel. Cruel.

I think the following entry that I copied from one of her fellow bloggers encapsulates the absurdity of the situation:

candle in the wind- a tribute to Amanda

I often wonder about the lives of fellow bloggers. How do they look like? What do they do? Will we ever meet? And when we do, would we have things to talk about just like the lively interactions we have on our blogs?

Now I'll never know what it is like to meet Amanda, a fellow blogger who recently passed on from a car accident. Amanda, who only sometime ago, was vivaciously alive and blogging about lipsticks and mini-skirts. This must be some cruel joke right? I may not know her personally nor am I in that position to offer words of comfort to her family and friends but this piece of news still pricks and I feel undoubtedly, a sense of loss.

After reading this, we'll return to our daily grind. We'll turn up for work, meet up with friends and attend to all of life's demands. Slowly but surely, news of her passing will fade. It takes a death to knocks some sense into us and to remember to live well today and take ourselves a little less seriously. Afterall, it does not seem to take much to snuff the life out of a candle


I never knew you Amanda, and I almost felt miffed when you never responded to my comment, or my email. Little did I know that your time was almost up, and that such inane things were no longer going to matter.

I do hope you are in a perfect place now. God bless your soul.


At Wednesday, August 24, 2005 1:49:00 pm , Blogger compassioNAT said...

Hi Emmanuel,

I did never get any reply from Amanda either. Like you, I hope she's in a better place.This piece of news still hasn't really sunk in yet.

That aside, you've got an great site going. Interesting..

See you ard,


At Wednesday, August 24, 2005 5:43:00 pm , Blogger Emmanuel.K.Bensah II said...

Besides the fact that I think you're a hot babe--bar my girlfriend--I think you've got a kewl site going yourself:-)

Shall be linking you very soon...

hope you're doing well...laters...

At Wednesday, August 24, 2005 9:28:00 pm , Blogger JeN said...

Oooh creepy!

At Thursday, August 25, 2005 3:26:00 am , Blogger sissoula said...

I don't get it, and it's not really explained in the site you cite. Did sb have her password and access to her blog? I would think that if sb dies, the blog dies with her (i.e. remains frozen in situ, unupdated, for all eternity). It is sad when someone dies young, a whole future and several unanswered emails in front of her, but these "death of a blogger" stories are quite often manufactured. Am I a cynic, or is there a chance that there's some other, less dramatic explanation?

At Thursday, August 25, 2005 9:28:00 am , Blogger Emmanuel.K.Bensah II said...

There's a less dramatic explanation. I got wind from Compassionat through eml exchange and her blog that her boyfriend of many years had deleted the blog.

Maybe as a tribute to her, I will save the cache of her latest post so you get a feel what type of person she was...very insightful considering English appeared to be her second language...

As for the car crash, I know, from many years living and working in Belgium, that almost every weekend, there is at least ONE fatality from a car crash. Overspeeding and a combination of late night clubbing is often responsible. But to the extent that a group formed a couple of years ago calling themselves "Repsonsible Young Drivers" started helping those who were too sloshed and inebriated to get home themselves, the fatalities, especially over the weekend, has reduced considerably...but as always with these things, more work needs to be done.

Hope I have clarified things--this particular one is not a fake thing...

At Thursday, August 25, 2005 9:29:00 am , Blogger Emmanuel.K.Bensah II said...

sorry, her boyfriend of many years being Amanda's boyfriend of many years

At Thursday, August 25, 2005 1:21:00 pm , Blogger Alyssa De Jour said...

You know, I think about this all the time. I actually did a post about it a while back.

If one of my friends net just disappeared, I would never know what happened, and would always wonder.

I would rather know, I think.

If I died, no one I know would think to tell my net buddies either. Hell, no one in my real life even knows them!


I have just fixed that. My husband has promised me that if I die, he will post about it on my blog in the comments.

How morbid. Still, I would rather know so...

At Friday, August 26, 2005 9:39:00 am , Blogger Emmanuel.K.Bensah II said...

ALyssa, you are not about to die anytime soon, so please no morbid thoughts!!

I guess what we could do is whilst we entertain the writing of a will(equally morbid!), we can also include our blog in that will, and request that people inform our fellow bloggers.

A decade ago, the consideration of a blog in a will might have been preposterous, but with technology comes the need to make some changes in our life. I personally welcome that change...

Look at the difference -- for better or worse -- that mobile phones have had on our lives. I know for sure my blog is a part of me and my life now!! I am sure it is the same for you, Alyssa:-)

Keep safe!

At Friday, August 26, 2005 9:40:00 am , Blogger Emmanuel.K.Bensah II said...

Jen--tell me about it!!!

At Saturday, August 27, 2005 4:15:00 am , Blogger compassioNAT said...

Hi sissoula, the first thing that crossed my mind too was that this could be a hoax. But after some thought, it is highly unlikely. The guy who wrote me the email to inform me of her death Madhu, I didnt even know him at all! He simply wrote me because i had once responded to something amanda wrote. And he did it out of courtesy.

What could anyone gain from manufacturing such an awful lie? There is nothing dramatic about the way she died..its a car accident. I would never have sensationalize something as cruel as this.

At Tuesday, August 30, 2005 6:17:00 pm , Blogger Raao said...

I knew Amanda from her stories, interviews, her blog,
but most of all from our emails. I received a email from her boyfriend, who was sending the same to all in her address book. If you go to you will find all the stories she wrote, the interviews she did and her posts. You
will see how much all thought of Amanda.
She will be missed.

At Saturday, September 03, 2005 11:19:00 pm , Blogger Raao said...

I wish to thank you for posting some of what Amanda wrote in her Blog.
Also, thank you for your reply.
Sorry I never copied her Blog but
never dreamed she would be gone.
Thank for caring. I hope you will post more of her Blog.
Take care.

At Tuesday, September 27, 2005 5:28:00 pm , Blogger Kayla said...

i am kayla one of amanda's online friends. i knew amanda only through emails and msn conversations after we met on the erotic stories site. i never saved her blog entries although i did reply to a few of hers as she did mine. when i heard wot had happened i could not get my head around it. however 2day (27th sept)a friend of mine done a tarot reading for me and while she was doing it she asked me who my female friend was that had passed over recently and it turned out 2 b amanda. i was shocked and happy to find out she had come through to say hello and let me know she was watching me



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