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"Think of these three things: whence you came, where you are going, and to whom you must account"--Benjamin Franklin

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

"Don't Worry Honey...", or When is the "Best Time"?

You may by now have sensed that I develop crushes like a chameleon in heat. This is why I often have crushes on and off my friends, work colleagues,etc. My latest was in August when I opined how much of a serious crush I had on a work colleague.

I have to say that for the past few days, she has been looking SO personable (read: hot!) in the sense that she exudes that confidence of a woman who is determined, focused, beautiful, and so-so gorgeous. When she smiles at you, the sun cannot hold. Her husband is a very lucky man.

I don't want to remind anyone that I have a significant other, and I'm posting a picture of her here to remind myself of how happy we are together:

But...I want to get more serious, as in inform my parents that she's the one I want to be with. Whilst marriage is not on the cards at the moment, my colleague (mentioned above) in an informal chat with me two weeks ago talked about how there's never the right time to get married, or have kids.

I suspect some of my regular visitors/lurkers might have some key insights to impart on this ever-perennial of questions anda considerations. Suffice-to-say, marriage being "the greatest redemption of one's loneliness", as some Rabbi [Dr.Jonathon Sachs] on BBC Radio Four's Thought for the Day programme on 29 February, 2000 [I remember 'cos it was a leap year] is something some of us yearn for. I am no exception. However, before I get there, I need to let my parents know about my gf.

Surely the first step, no?;-)



At Thursday, November 23, 2006 2:15:00 pm , Blogger vadis said...

dang! u're a writer?
greetings from Indonesia,

u wrote a thriller, and
i wrote a fantasy!

At Thursday, November 23, 2006 3:31:00 pm , Blogger Emmanuel.K.Bensah II said...

dang, to you too!;-) greetings from Ghana.

Operative word here is "write". You did. I am still doing;-))) I hope to get it out, so-to-speak, by 2007, though! I visited your site! Wow...there's a lot there...

At Thursday, November 23, 2006 3:32:00 pm , Blogger Emmanuel.K.Bensah II said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At Thursday, November 23, 2006 10:30:00 pm , Anonymous Anonymous said...

What do I know, Marie and I are seperating...

At Friday, November 24, 2006 4:46:00 pm , Blogger sissoula said...

Sorry, Mr. Bensah, but isn't it a little nuts to declare your desire to get serious with your gf (she's lovely, btw) in the midst of a post about a crush you have on someone else? Crushes are nice, and inevitable. I don't fault you for the crush... but it makes what you say afterwards seem a little disingenuous.

Or maybe not, if you're still asking yourself whether or not to introduce your gf to your parents.

All I can say is that marriage doesn't guarantee an end to loneliness, nor is it wise to marry someone just because you happen to be together at an age when you think it might be nice to get married.

Daniel, I'm sorry.

At Friday, November 24, 2006 6:00:00 pm , Blogger Emmanuel.K.Bensah II said...

Daniel--I'm sorry, too. Sent you an eml; would be happy if you could reply..and maybe elaborate, if okay by you...Chin up, doode.

Sissoula--first up, I know Im sometimes foolish, but sadistic? This has to take the biscuit: me posting a picture of me and my gf, when my parents go online regularly, and they know my name is littered all over the internet [note: quantity does not mean quality;-)) ] This is like an open secret for them, no!! Honestly...

Now, as for your comments, you're right, it might seem disingenous saying I have a crush, then go and talk about my girlfriend.

I'm a flawed human being. I've been writing about being flawed since 1989, when I wrote my first journal entry. I still maintain a journal, and re-reading sends me in bits about the STUPIDITY and crassness of my thinking. Paradoxically, I've learnt a lot about myself and my feelings and emotions this way, and one thing was this: writing about the way I feel or lust about someone has helped me contain those feelings. It makes me put things into perspective and the bigger picture, and I realise it's an assinine and infantile enterprise. And then I move on.

If I didn't write it, I would create unnecessary tension for, for eg, saying I have this crush on my colleague is not just cathartic, but I'm also revealing to all, as it were, how contradictory a human being I am also...and flawed. Nothing WILL ever happen between the crushee and the crushed;-) But I write it 'cos that's how I was feeling about her at the time. My next entry will not feature her, most likely, cos I would've gotten over the crush...

All that said, I hear you when you write about marriage. Please, it's far from the cards, but I thought I'd spark a blogger debate by launching it, and get some proverbial feedback.

I'd just liketo say that my best friend is female. SHe's called Juliet. She knows almost everything about my love lives and the silly things I do and she is candid in telling me about my stupid sides. She has always hinted to me about relationships like her and mine, and long and short is that she knows I have a thing for her, but I think that's what has made our friendship stronger--her knowing I care a great deal about her, never crossing the line...

I think I need to write a post about this in greater detail! Have a kewl weekend!!

At Saturday, November 25, 2006 5:18:00 am , Blogger sissoula said...

For the record, I never used the words sadistic or stupid. You are your harshest critic. Very harsh! Just because you are willing to admit your flaws (and more power to you for it) doesn't mean you are any more flawed than anybody else.

You're lucky to have such a good friend of the opposite sex, especially one that keeps you in line. I've got one too. (Hi Steph!) I'll look forward to that post.

And you have a good weekend too. :)

At Monday, November 27, 2006 9:31:00 am , Blogger Emmanuel.K.Bensah II said...

Sissoula--morning! Thanks for getting back on that post. Incidentally, I am sorry if it seemed like I was attributing "sadistic" and "stupid" to you--far from it!

I was just doing some thinking-out-loud, of sorts, wondering how sadistic it remains on my part to talk about my gf and myself--with a picture--and ruminate over whether I should tell the very parents who are likely to come across it anyway?!...mind boggles...

Here is the link to the post of the sexy Juliet:

More to come: why I chose to have platonic friendships with beautiful women;-))

At Monday, December 04, 2006 4:52:00 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope you keep that crush as just a crush.


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