Emotional Fight Club II: "I'll Give it Second Thoughts"

 

Thanks to all those who have thus far responded to my post “Emotional Fight Club”. Here’s just a quick update.

 

Contrary to the wishes of some of my colleagues at work (the female kind), I, needing to be in town near my girlfriend’s place, decided to surprise her with a visit.

 

She seemed indifferent to seeing me, but she was very civil and congenial.

 

“How are you, G?” I asked

 

“Fine. And you?”

 

“Fine.”

 

“how’s work?”

 

“Fine, we have a workshop, Friday…Can we talk?”

 

“I have a meeting at around two pm. What time is it?”

 

“just gone a few minutes before two” I responded.

 

She signalled for us to move so we could talk.

 

We approached the lifts, and I started, with her looking me straight in the eye.

 

“I’m not here so much to apologise, as you say you have forgiven me, than to let you know {here, broke down from my rehearsed speech} I am truly sorry for what I did. I put my hands up. I want to make amends…”

 

She started shaking her head, “Emmanuel, it’s ok…we’re friends aren’t we?”

 

Then she added : “I hate to see people doing this to themselves” {suggesting she has given up?}

 

“But,” I added, “we can’t be proper friends after…”

 

She looked at me in surprise: “why not?”

 

 

I added: “at least, we have to resolve this before we can become proper friends…I identified three things I was doing which irked you…calling you so many times, for example, including when you told me you were busy; calling you at work…I want to work on those things. I want to give you space to work things through so you can re-consider. AT least, re-think the idea…”

 

She looked away from me, adding “Ok, I’ll give it second thoughts…”

 

I was overjoyed, my little heart jumping for joy all over the place…;-)

 

“Will you”, I continued, “at least tell me you’ll re-consider?”

 

Then my heart sank…

 

“No.”

 

But that seems to be her; she doesn’t want people putting words in her mouth, but she’s fine with giving me and the relationship second thoughts. But I mustn’t be complacent: the fight is still on to win her trust back.

 

At least, she came out with two things that annoyed her, and I pretty much conceded that they irritated her. She corroborated: “it’s okay…but it’s the phone calls. And the landline. Don’t call the landline {workline}”

 

As she went into the lift, I followed. I asked for a hug.

 

She refused.

 

But at least, she accepted me holding her hand, and giving me the traditional greeting of a handshake and click of the fingers…

 

She wasn’t feeling well: her eyes tired and her cheeks rather puffy.

 

Our interchange was punctuated with “Emmanuel, it’s ok”

 

Then I tried again. Her phone rang; it was her sister. She spoke to her, told me it was her sister and excused her for a second.

 

“Grace, at least, can we have a drink at the end of the week?”

 

“I can’t promise, Emmanuel…I’ll try”

 

Then she left.

 

For those women out there, is this a sign of a woman ready and willing to give me a chance, or it’s definite? I have to continue to fight—without a doubt.

 

Relationships!!!!!!!!!